Sunday, August 04, 2013

One Direction's Harry Styles confirmed as twelfth doctor

PROS: Already owns own bow tie
The BBC have announced Harry Styles, member of popular boy band One Direction, has been cast in the role of the Doctor in the iconic BBC series Doctor Who.

Styles will be the 12th Time Lord and will take over from Matt Smith who leaves the show in its 2013 Christmas Special.

Lisa Xoanon, one of the executives responsible for the franchise for BBC Worldwide, issued a press release to celebrate the arrival of Styles in this legendary role.

"We're pleased to officially announce that Harry Styles will be stepping into the shoes of the Doctor for the 2014 series and going forward indefinitely. We're aware that there has been much speculation about the identity of the new Doctor - indeed, we've even had to refer to him as "Houdini" in internal memorandums to avoid the secret being leaked - but we're glad that after much secrecy we can finally reveal his identity to the world.

Many reached the final hurdle, but choosing Styles was a no brainer. It's no secret that we'd kind of painted ourselves into a corner by choosing increasingly younger and quirkier actors to play the role since Ecclestone and thats hardly a demographic we're going to try and consciously lose, is it? Styles will bring a unique charm and style and youthful edge to the role, but more importantly he'll bring across an absolute shitload of fans who will literally buy anything - and I mean literally anything - that we plaster his face onto. Henna tattoos, makeup kits, protractors, rape alarms and dog toys, you name it.  Some of those guys are batshit mental. It's no surprise that we may have spread ourselves too thinly and have hell of a lot of unsold merchandise. Those days are gone."

"I can't hide my excitement", enthused Styles, "I've been a huge fan of show since it started with Bernie Ecclestone or Chris Tarrant, whatever his name was, and I'm buzzed about some of the forthcoming scripts I've read. It'll be the same old timeless tale of the last of the Timelords and his companion, or in my case me accompanied on my TARDIS by anywhere between four to six hundred screaming eleven to thirteen year old girls. I'm looking forward to boldly going where no Time Lord has gone before as I confront Daleks, Cybermen and Darth Vaders with my sonic lightsaber."

"May the force be with you!  Peace out."

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